So I would never have considered myself to be crunchy in any way except that I try to recycle and I try to use my reusable shopping bags (when I can remember to bring them to the store). But one thing I was sure of (not sure where the idea even came into my head because I do not recall anyone in my family being cloth diapered) was that I wanted to use cloth diapers. Maybe it was the cost factor, I have no idea. But cloth diapered and breastfed were what this child was going to be.
Never in a million years would I have thought I would turn out the way I am. Most of this is new to me because it was not learned through family. But I never thought I would be the baby wearing, cloth diapering, attachment parenting mom I am now. I wasn't raised this way and didn't learn about most of it until I started researching cloth diapering and breastfeeding.
I refuse to use the popular baby brand washes and lotions on my baby girl. I am even choosing not to vaccinate. Never before would I have questioned vaccinations or what my dr recommended but now I do. Who would have thought that this little person who came into my life would change my lifestyle and decision like she has.
Friday, May 18, 2012
How can something so natural be so difficult???
During my pregnancy I read as much as I could about breastfeeding. I was determined to exclusively breastfeed my daughter no matter what. At the hospital, the first time I attempted to feed my baby, they gave me a nipple shield and told me I need to try to get her on the breast without it. I thought things were going well, even stopped using the nipple shield, but her billirubin was slowly creeping up each time she was checked and she wasn't pooping often enough. On the day we were discharged, the LC came to visit and assured me things looked good. We were required to go back to the hospital the day after discharge to have her billirubin checked again. It went slightly down but at this point baby was not latching anymore. So while at the hospital I called the LC and met with her. While she may have had the best intentions, she caused more problems for me and my baby. She had me pump and fed the pumped milk from a bottle that had a very loose flowing nipple. Guess what...my baby no longer wanted to work for her food. She would rather take the bottle with that nipple than my breast. Thanks LC for creating another barrier for my breastfeeding journey. She also gave me a box of formula and advised me to go to the ER because baby girl hadn't pooped since well before we were discharged.
We go to the ER and wait a while. The ER dr would not do any testing or anything. He said as long as she is having wet diapers, the poop will come eventually. She is still trying to adjust to being in the world.
Fast forward a few days...
She is sleeping a lot and will become fussy 5 minutes after she is done bfing because she is still hungry. So we would feed her bottles of pumped milk and you could hear how empty her stomach was. So of course I start to worry and panic. And I still refuse to give her formula, although we did give it to her a total of 3 times to make sure the billirubin went down. Finally, someone on one of my FB groups mentioned using a nipple shield. I tried that and it worked. She was finally able to pull out enough milk to keep her satisfied. Now the issue was to wean her from the shield. By this time I had gone to my first LLL meeting. It was there that we determined I had partially inverted nipples. They would retract when baby tried to latch on. So we kept on with the shield and maybe once a week I would see if she would take the breast with no shield. Sometimes yes and sometimes no. So I just kept on with the shield. When she was 6 weeks, I had my next LLL meeting. Earlier that day I had washed the shield and it was drying on the bottle rack. Well I forgot to pack it for the meeting. I get to the meeting and after a little while she gets hungry. I go looking for the shield and realize I left it at home. This was the moment of truth...she was able to latch on and receive enough milk. Everyone at the meeting was so happy for us. It was a huge milestone for us. Things have been going well ever since, except right now we are battling with thrush :(
We go to the ER and wait a while. The ER dr would not do any testing or anything. He said as long as she is having wet diapers, the poop will come eventually. She is still trying to adjust to being in the world.
Fast forward a few days...
She is sleeping a lot and will become fussy 5 minutes after she is done bfing because she is still hungry. So we would feed her bottles of pumped milk and you could hear how empty her stomach was. So of course I start to worry and panic. And I still refuse to give her formula, although we did give it to her a total of 3 times to make sure the billirubin went down. Finally, someone on one of my FB groups mentioned using a nipple shield. I tried that and it worked. She was finally able to pull out enough milk to keep her satisfied. Now the issue was to wean her from the shield. By this time I had gone to my first LLL meeting. It was there that we determined I had partially inverted nipples. They would retract when baby tried to latch on. So we kept on with the shield and maybe once a week I would see if she would take the breast with no shield. Sometimes yes and sometimes no. So I just kept on with the shield. When she was 6 weeks, I had my next LLL meeting. Earlier that day I had washed the shield and it was drying on the bottle rack. Well I forgot to pack it for the meeting. I get to the meeting and after a little while she gets hungry. I go looking for the shield and realize I left it at home. This was the moment of truth...she was able to latch on and receive enough milk. Everyone at the meeting was so happy for us. It was a huge milestone for us. Things have been going well ever since, except right now we are battling with thrush :(
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Castor Oil Cocktail...Thanks Mom!
Flash forward 10 month (40 weeks)...
Here I am on my due date and dr. will not let me go past Wed. (2 days after my due date). I say he will not let me because what is my recourse if I say no, then what happens to me when I do go into labor? I also think maybe it is ok so my Mom doesn't have to reschedule her flight or anything. Going against everything I felt, the dr scheduled my induction for Wed. Feb. 22nd.
In an attempt to go into labor naturally before then I tried EVERYTHING!!!! Even this nasty ass castor oil concoction my mom's friend gave her and swore by...the instructions said it will make you nauseous so take it before you go to bed so you can sleep through most of it.
I take it at about 11pm...stomach starts hurting around 1:30am, so bad that I cannot get into a deep sleep. 3:30am...puking my brains out. Mind you this is right before I am supposed to go to the hospital to be induced. I finally fall asleep only to have the alarm clock go off. Stomach still hurting I can't even drink water without wanting to puke again. Hello dehydration!!!
Admitted to the hospital... they hook me up to the fetal monitor. They start the IV crap and it hurts like hell when they stick me and it still hurts the entire time it was in my hand. They say she is not looking good...dr breaks my water...I start having contractions on my own...she's still not looking good...dr say c-sec...great :(
I ask if I can drink water because I am so dehydrated and they tell me no.
I knew I should have changed drs. If it was up to me I would have gone to the birth center but stupid insurance and what not prevented that.
And on the matter of insurance...what is the point of paying for it out of my paycheck when I still had to pay out over $1,000 for the birth experience I was forced into???
Here I am on my due date and dr. will not let me go past Wed. (2 days after my due date). I say he will not let me because what is my recourse if I say no, then what happens to me when I do go into labor? I also think maybe it is ok so my Mom doesn't have to reschedule her flight or anything. Going against everything I felt, the dr scheduled my induction for Wed. Feb. 22nd.
In an attempt to go into labor naturally before then I tried EVERYTHING!!!! Even this nasty ass castor oil concoction my mom's friend gave her and swore by...the instructions said it will make you nauseous so take it before you go to bed so you can sleep through most of it.
I take it at about 11pm...stomach starts hurting around 1:30am, so bad that I cannot get into a deep sleep. 3:30am...puking my brains out. Mind you this is right before I am supposed to go to the hospital to be induced. I finally fall asleep only to have the alarm clock go off. Stomach still hurting I can't even drink water without wanting to puke again. Hello dehydration!!!
Admitted to the hospital... they hook me up to the fetal monitor. They start the IV crap and it hurts like hell when they stick me and it still hurts the entire time it was in my hand. They say she is not looking good...dr breaks my water...I start having contractions on my own...she's still not looking good...dr say c-sec...great :(
I ask if I can drink water because I am so dehydrated and they tell me no.
I knew I should have changed drs. If it was up to me I would have gone to the birth center but stupid insurance and what not prevented that.
And on the matter of insurance...what is the point of paying for it out of my paycheck when I still had to pay out over $1,000 for the birth experience I was forced into???
Um...what?!?!?!
I still remember the morning I found out I was pregnant like it was yesterday, but let's back track. Over the past several years, I have been told by numerous OB/GYNs, fertility drs, and regular drs that I would need fertility treatment to become pregnant. So my husband and I decided we would not have children because we would not go through the treatment.
Flash forward to June 2011...
I thought my period was due that coming Friday, so that Tues. I double checked my online cycle tracker because I wasn't feeling any symptoms of it coming on. Oops...I was due the Friday before...I'm late! Not thinking anything of it because even though I have been regular for over 2 years, PCOS can interfere with my cycle when it feels like it. So just to be on the safe side I decided to take a test that next morning.
The next morning...
I take the test and followed the instructions exactly...is that a faint line I see??? It's still early for me but I swear there is a faint line there. Hubby was asleep on the couch because at the time he came home after I was asleep and I sleep like shit all the time so he doesn't come into the room in an effort not to wake me.
Anyway, I wake him up and said, "um...I think I'm pregnant". He's jumps up and is like what?!?!?! still half asleep. I asked him to come to the bathroom and tell me if he saw a line on the test. He looks and says "no!" I said, "really??? You don't see a line there???" He says it's not as dark as the other one...ha men. I then proceeded to read him the one line on the instructions that mentions the line may not be as dark as the control.
A week later I had my OB/GYN appointment...confirmed, I'm pregnant!
Flash forward to June 2011...
I thought my period was due that coming Friday, so that Tues. I double checked my online cycle tracker because I wasn't feeling any symptoms of it coming on. Oops...I was due the Friday before...I'm late! Not thinking anything of it because even though I have been regular for over 2 years, PCOS can interfere with my cycle when it feels like it. So just to be on the safe side I decided to take a test that next morning.
The next morning...
I take the test and followed the instructions exactly...is that a faint line I see??? It's still early for me but I swear there is a faint line there. Hubby was asleep on the couch because at the time he came home after I was asleep and I sleep like shit all the time so he doesn't come into the room in an effort not to wake me.
Anyway, I wake him up and said, "um...I think I'm pregnant". He's jumps up and is like what?!?!?! still half asleep. I asked him to come to the bathroom and tell me if he saw a line on the test. He looks and says "no!" I said, "really??? You don't see a line there???" He says it's not as dark as the other one...ha men. I then proceeded to read him the one line on the instructions that mentions the line may not be as dark as the control.
A week later I had my OB/GYN appointment...confirmed, I'm pregnant!
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